Tuesday, November 18, 2008
But last night, I asked for all my helpers, guides, angels, whoever was looking out for me in the spirit world to give me guidance on feeling healthier, where I was headed in this life, etc. I pulled out all the stops. I have never asked for all hands on deck like that.
Well I got the help. And it WAS clear.
Stay with me here as it does have some of that weird, unreal dream quality about it.
I went to this black woman for help as I knew she was very psychic and "real" in her abilities to help people get answers. She began talking to me in this guttural noise which at first scared me. I asked her to not talk like that because I didn't understand it. And she and I both laughed because it sounded so weird to me. She agreed and began speaking "normally."
(At this point I have to explain that my friend Linda told me that the noise was actually my guide communicating to me vibrationally. Isn't that cool??)
So I asked the woman if she would wash my hair because I wanted to feel clean. She began washing my hair and it felt good. She also started cutting it and I was thinking oh no, she isn't going to know how to cut a white woman's hair! Anyway, I asked her if I was in any way physically sick. She said no and that I had been looking for it to be physical, but that I was not ill. She went to my feet and did something like reflexology on them and put these patches on the middle bottom of each foot. I had the thought that these were detoxing me. I felt safe and cared for. I went with it.
I asked her if I could give her a ride home and she said yes. She also said she wanted to keep in touch and gave me what looked like a business card. I put it in my wallet. Which was the very wallet I use in "real" life.
More happened but I'll stop the story here. And I know at this point you are thinking this is just way too bizzar-o. It is. I agree. But it feels important and real so I have to drop the side of me that says otherwise.
So when I woke up I literally felt healthier. I felt cleansed. I had gone to bed feeling yucky. Not "right." And to wake up feeling "changed" was amazing.
Linda says she thinks I had a healing session with this guide. And the very fact that she said she wanted to keep in touch tells me she is there for me when I need guidance and I can call on her.
It's a powerful and wondrous thing that we ALL have at our disposal-- to ask for help and receive it. So tonight, why not try it? And don't get frustrated if, like me, it takes time to understand the answers. I have been doing this for years now and this is the most clear, real experience I have had. WHhich isn't to say that you won't have a similar experience immediately. You might.
If your intention is pure and for your greater good, and you ask in a clear, specific manner, it will come. A hint: Do not ask if you should or shouldn't do something or be something. That won't get it. There are no shoulds or shouldn'ts. Ask "am I ____" or "Is it for my greater good if _____"
I asked simply for guidance on my health and where was I headed and how to get there. (I got that answer, too, but again, it's for me only and so I won't reveal it on the blog since really, the answer doesn't help you.)
What helps you is to know there is a universe and unseen forces at work for each of us. Guides, helpers. More to it all than what our human eyes can see. Accept it and ask for the help that is available.
Friday, November 14, 2008
I could feel he was getting my muscles to let go because I started shaking or trembling a bit. That's what happens to me when I get energy and healing work. My muscles writhe as they release energy/emotion. But then something weird happened.
I started bawling. Blubbering is more exact. What did you do?! I cried. Why am I so sad all of a sudden? You're releasing old stuff, he said. This kind of went on for an hour. Me releasing.
I won't go into deeper detail 'cause you don't care and I don't wanna share all that mess. But suffice it to say, it was CRAZY. At one point I was shaking so violently I was actually scared. Never have I experienced anything like it. He also had me doing very fast and shallow breathing. He, being psychic, was channeling my feelings and my past emotions/thoughts from childhood. Things like, I am a burden. I should try to stay out of people's way. Stuff like that. Stuff I didn't recall, but that sure hit a chord once he spoke them. And he was moving energy down my body and doing that massage like body work the whole time. I could even hear him flicking off stuff, like he was clearing bad energy off me.
I was exhausted when it was over. But my back felt better and I knew I had some kind of important break through.
I think we could all use this work. We all have dramas and thoughts we went through or created as children and it's stuck in there if we didn't deal with it when it happened. Our bodies are energy and everything we go through stays with us if we don't let it go. All emotion is is energy. It gets imprinted on our energy field.
I think I have a few more sessions to get all my crap out, but at least now I know what seems to work for me.
I came home after the session and slept for 2 hours like a baby. Like I had been re-born. And in fact, while in session, I saw myself in the womb. (I know what you are thinking. She's nuts.) And I also saw myself as a light being before I chose to come into this world. Yeah, heavy stuff for sure. Real? Well, if you picture it, your brain doesn't know it isn't real. So yeah, I'd say it was real.
Want to have your own session with Steve? If you are in NC, I highly recommend you see him. His website is listed on the blog or you can click here. At the very least, it'll be an experience to tell your grandkids about, right?
Sunday, November 9, 2008
I find this is an amazingly energizing and mood shifting meditation. Got off your path? (See previous blog entry) Need a boost? Need to "remember" who you truly are? Try this meditation.
She mentions God in this meditation. If that messes you up, just change it to suit your beliefs. Universe, All that Is, whatever you need it to be is fine. I use "All that Is", personally.
Close your eyes and relax. Breathe deeply and fully, as if you are being breathed by a great benevolent force. Let the energy of God move through you now and allow yourself to be a clear vessel through which this power flows.
Begin to feel this light within you grow and expand, reaching from the depths of your personal soul, out through your body so that it begins to fuse with the light of every other human being. Take a moment to fully integrate this feeling of connection.
Surrender your smaller self to the highest and holiest potential that is within. In this moment let go of the negative thoughts and judgments that grab at you and weigh you down.
In every area of your life, see where you have been functioning out of fear rather than choosing love. In every area of your life, forgive who and what has hurt you. Breathe... And now forgive yourself for the times you have missed the mark.
Feel the breath move though you - clearing, energizing, and renewing. From this internal space, begin to imagine in small circumstances and situations, little miracles manifesting. Disputes are settled with ease, you experience more random acts of kindness, and the things you worried about seemed to have disappeared entirely.
Now imagine that that very sense of lifting and healing move to bigger and more profound areas of your life. With all your senses, with all this power moving through you, bring to mind the best and most perfect scenario of a world that is healed.
Imagine a series of gentle breakthroughs: of leaders and politicians finding peaceful solutions. Of hostility that is replaced with compassion. Of an abundance of food and resources for every last being on earth. Imagine our planet being lifted out of pain and into blissful peace. Be very specific: in your minds' eye, apply the force of this collective love to every place of discord and see it heal and become light.
And as you visualize, so you will begin to perceive the world around you differently. And so the world transforms. At this very moment, you are co-creating with God the unfolding miracle of peace. May you know comfort, peace, abundance, and love. May we all know it. And so it is ......
Friday, November 7, 2008
With that said, I wanted to share something with you that helps me anytime I feel negative emotions. Or even apathy. Or if I need a boost to get my heart pumping out happiness.
Someone sent me these pictures of a baby deer named Rupert by the photographer who found him. Rupert's mother was killed by a car and he barely made it. He was only 6 inches tall. But with love and medical attention, they think baby Rupe will pull through. The last shot is him celebrating his 5th birthday taking a nap in the safety of his new dad's hands.
I smile every time I see these photos. And that means I am in a state of allowing. Allowing what, you ask? Well-being.
Try it and see if you don't feel better instantly.
Friday, October 10, 2008
And I feel the affects of that wandering. Yuck. I'm not as energetic. Not as happy. Just kind of back in the rut that my egoic self falls into when I allow it to take the wheel. If you find yourself getting back into old habits, old mindsets, be gentle with yourself, but do steer back onto the path.
Now that I am more aware, I "feel" subtle changes in myself more. But it's amazing how different you can feel when you aren't honoring your spirit and your purpose. Not that I have figured out my passion or purpose yet, but suffice it to say, I'm further along than I was.
I just started reading Vein of Gold by Julie Cameron. She wrote The Artist's Way. And one of the things she says that resonated with me was to walk every day. To take 20 minutes and free up your creative soul. Walking can be meditative. Plenty of spiritual practices that involve walking over the centuries. It re-connects us to nature, to our sense of sight, touch, smell...and it can actually unstick you from mind blocks or indecision.
So here I go, trying to get back on my path. Taking my 20 minute walk each day. No excuses. And pushing back from the computer for breaks. Breathing. Do not forget your breathing. Are you taking short, shallow breaths? Then relax. Sit back for just a few seconds and take some deep breaths. Re-oxygenate. And then appreciate. Appreciate your home. Your cat that sits in your lap and whose purring is like meditative chanting for the soul. Being thankful, as my friend Mamie reminded me the other day, is a sure way back onto the path.
See how different you begin to feel again. You'd think we would not stray so much when we feel so much better on our path. "We're only human, Laura," I remind myself. "We're only human."
Saturday, August 30, 2008
But this is why you only see my entries these days. She still reads the blog, but unless you see otherwise, assume it's me, Laura.
When I was taking my class with Steve on Intuitive Healing, we did a journeying class. We went to the Lower World to find our power animal. Needless to say, I was having difficulty with this one. I "faked" my way through it and thought I came out with Crow as one of my power animals. 'Nuf said on that.
However, when I met Terry and Blair from Doe Dreamers, Blair mentioned he was called Crow.
So the other day when I was leaving their home, Blair was telling me, "Laura, it's basically all a game. Life is a game. Play with it. Have fun. See what you can manifest and enjoy it all." And he started laughing. A very big, contagious laugh. All of a sudden, we heard this crazy almost-human laugh, like a "Caw,Caw, Caw, Caw Caw." A cackling I'd say.
It was a crow sitting above us in a tree. We all busted out. It couldn't have been better timed and quite frankly, I don't consider it to be any coincidence at all.
We are all connected. All things share energy. And crow thought we should know Blair had hit the nail on the head.
Laugh. Have fun. See what wonders you can create. And as Terry keeps telling me, ask for it, then get out of the way and let it in.
So laugh at life. A big belly guffaw next time something doesn't go your way. See how quickly the mood and energy will change when you do.
Friday, August 29, 2008
I have been a bit fascinated with hummingbirds for the past 5 months or so. I don't know why. They just seem to be in my mind. My friend has a feeder on her deck and awhile back as we sat outside, what should fly up but a hummer not 3 feet from me. He seemed satisfied we weren't going to hurt him and I was transfixed watching him. It made my heart sore to see that little dude. So petite and cute. Just amazing creatures.
Then I noticed we had a feeder hanging from a tree. A remnant from previous owners. I took a closer look, though, and it was broken. Not usable. I kept thinking, "you have to get a feeder, Laura. Remember to get a feeder." But I kept forgetting. I even told my husband, "Please help me remember to get a feeder. I want a hummingbird feeder." Never happened.
Just recently, I was drawn to some very wonderful people, Terry and Blair at doe dreamers.com . They do healing work and clearing work for people and so I went to see them for some of their "magic." Well, before the visit we talked on the phone setting up a time for me to come by. Terry exclaimed to Blair, "Look at that hummer coming right up to the window! He never comes to the window. Laura, there's some message in that for you." I was, needless to say, floored. I laughed and told them how I have been attracted to the hummingbird for some reason, so yes, it must be some other-wordly message. But what.
When I went to see Terry and Blair, Blair did a wonderful feather clearing and Terry performed a Mayan Spiritual Bath on me. Both experiences were amazing and I felt better than I had in awhile. But as I was outside gently being sprinkled with blessed water and herbs by Terry, my hummer friend visited. Right there at a feeder next to me. I could hardly contain myself. I wanted to rush out and get a feeder. And so I did. I was still wet and probably looked like a drowned cat, but straight into Walmart I went. Right to the feeders.
When I got home, I went straight to my trusty computer to Google hummingbirds and what their meaning was as animal totems. Meaning: It is joy. They teach you to open your heart and let in the joy around you. They show you how to go backwards and take quick trips into your past and quick trips into your future, but never lingering too long on either. They teach you to enjoy the sweetness of life. Drink in its nectar. The message resonated loud and clear with me. I have been asking for joy. To be lighter, less burdened with seriousness and not wallowing in past or fearing future. Well that was the ticket.
I hung up my feeder. And within hours, amazingly enough (see how often I am using this word in my entry?) here comes 2 hummers. Just as cute and sweet as could be. My husband, myself and a friend were on the porch when the little ones decided to visit. They chirped and zoomed around and hung in the air checking us out. At one point, I literally felt as if the birds were saying, "Look here. We are here for you. You have called us and we are here."
Not a single day has gone by since then when I haven't gone out to the porch to be with those messengers and feel their joy in my heart. I forget about work, life, everything for a few moments and let well-being flood into me.
I have decided my next move is to try to get one to sit on my finger. I will let you know how it goes.
Hummer season is almost over, as they migrate South in winter. But I encourage you to hang up a feeder next May. And let a little hummer joy and magic into your life. We have so much to learn and gain from nature if we simply let it in. Is a hummer out there looking for you? If you are reading this post, then I say, quite probably, yes.
[To make hummer syrup, DO NOT use red food coloring. Mix 1 part white sugar (don't use any other kind as it can be harmful, including raw sugar) with 4 parts water. I heat my water and stir in sugar until it dissolves. When it cools, pour it in your feeder. When the mixture gets cloudy, it's time to change the food. Please go online and read more about how to feed and care for hummers.]
Monday, June 16, 2008
I have been on a journey as you know and this is the next step for me. Understanding and becoming more aware of who I am. My Tai Chi instructor nailed it a few weeks ago when he said I needed to know myself before I could be happy and find the joy I have spent a lifetime searching for.
And lo and behold, this book finds me by De Mello.
So here is what I want you to consider:
You are not your body. Your body totally replenishes, changes, whatever you want to call it every 7 years. So you are not in the same body physically that you were 7 years ago. But you are still you, so consider you are not your body. Then who are you?
You are not your thoughts since those are created from what you have observed and learned over your lifetime but since they can change at a moment's notice and yet you are still you, you are not your thoughts. Then who are you?
You are bigger. You are greater. You are more. And the minute you can face those truths and realize your thoughts have been ruling your life and your body is a vessel, then you might be onto something. We all might.
If it intrigues you, read De Mello's book. He is no longer on this Earth, but his words are for humanity to hear.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Steve is a trance medium and channels a spirit called Michael, who is Scottish. So we were all honored that he went into trance for us to gain Michael's wisdom and ask questions of him. I won't go into too much detail on this, but Michael's main message for our class was to know that we are here to be teachers and that we are on a path that is not to be taken lightly. And also one we might wander away from sometimes, but will ALWAYS find our way back to. He said we should all ask for the guidance to understand and become more aware of our "one-ness." He called this "at-one-ment," which after some time I figured out was the word: Atonement. Cool huh?
So I have been sitting with that. Asking for a greater awareness of my one-ness. And I am getting there. How do I know?
I was in Cincinnati recently for business and since there are no coincidences, I have to say, I think I was there to provide a light or some guide/teaching to someone. The person I was there to work with actually. He had never met me. Was not asked if he wanted to work with me. The company could have used someone in town, but they called on me. I felt a great need to travel to Cincinnati and work there instead of the usual work from home with phone and email.
Lo and behold, I found a flight that was in my price range and with only 2 days notice had made the trip to Cinci. The man I was working with and I began talking. And it didn't take long before we figured out we had much the same ideas and were on much the same path to a new spiritual awakening. It was so very cool to see how the Universe delivers and creates opportunities. He is now going to take tai chi with my former instructor Vince at White Willow.
Since I was going to be in Cinci, I set up an appt to see Vince for a session of healing. He always seems to be able to get to the heart of whatever is locked up inside me. His insight for me was amazing.
But clearly, he saw that I had changed in this past year. He said I looked better than he'd ever seen me look. I thought it was odd to say because to me, I looked tired, stressed out and old. But he didn't mean my outer appearance. He meant my energy field. He said it was so healthy. He also said I felt tired because I was in conflict with my greater purpose or spirit. Again, I do not want to go into detail here, but everything he said resonated with me. He said I was on a powerful path as well and knew I would figure it all out...my greater purpose, what I could do with my life that would fulfill me. All that wonderful stuff you hope to find before you leave your Earthly shell.
I also got to see the woman who I used to go to for energy work and balancing. She also commented on how my energy field looked. "Better than it has ever." I believe is what she said. She has the ability to look back in time and "see" dark areas of time for my energy and then bright areas. Now is a bright area for me, she said.
So all this to say that I have had an incredible healing journey and am now on a path that I know I will continue on. Have you seen powerful changes in your life? Keep asking for the knowing, the one-ness awareness. We are all connected and now is the time to embrace that and change ourselves as we change the world. Love and knowing can do that. Look inside yourself. KNOW yourself. Be at-one-ment. Blessings to you all.
I hope to keep blogging on my journey. So stay tuned for more!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Our most recent class was a cool one. We learned more about breathing. And it was such a relaxing class. We learned about pranayama, which is an Indian style of breathwork. We specifically learned a form called Nadi Sodhana which is alternate nostril breathing. Here is an excerpt from a site that explains:
With this exercise, we breathe through only one nostril at a time. The logic behind this exercise is that normal breathing does alternate from one nostril to the other at various times during the day. In a healthy person the breath will alternate between nostrils about every two hours. Because most of us are not in optimum health, this time period varies considerably between people and further reduces our vitality. According to the yogis, when the breath continues to flow in one nostril for more than two hours, as it does with most of us, it will have an adverse effect on our health. If the right nostril is involved, the result is mental and nervous disturbance. If the left nostril is involved, the result is chronic fatigue and reduced brain function. The longer the flow of breath in one nostril, the more serious the illness will be.
So here is how you do this breathing. You take your first and second finger and place them together on your third eye (middle of forehead between brows and slightly above). Then you will use your thumb and ring finger to alternately hold either your left or right nostril closed while you breathe through the other nostril.
Keep your fingers on your third eye. Close your eyes. Relax. Hold your left nostril closed with your ring finger and breathe in through your right. Visualize you are breathing in a healing pink or gold light up to your third eye. Hold the breath there and see it swirling and cleaning your third eye and entire head and sinuses as you then cover your right nostril with your thumb and open the left and exhale the light out. Now, breathe in from your left, holding closed your right. Repeat. See the cleansing and healing. Feel it.
Here is link, but it does not show the third eye method. However, this is pretty good for an explanation and for scientific evidence on how it works!
Steve also talked to use about a number of other breathing techniques I won't go into here. Suffice it to say, breathing is LIFE. And more often than we know, we hold our breath when we are stressed out or for many other reasons. We may not even realize we are doing it. But pay attention and you will find times when you aren't breathing consistently. I know I do. I was just doing it oddly enough!!
We also took our first Shamanic Journey in this class. We journeyed to the lower world to meet our power animals. My trip, as usual was a bit hard at first, but I believe I met my power animal and it was Crow. I found myself being pecked by it, so I think it was trying to get my attention. I also saw myself flying over a forest. It's pretty cool that Crow came to me because it represents EXACTLY where I am right now and what I am working on. You can read here about Crow.
For those of you who do not know about Shamanic journeying, BUY STEVE'S BOOK listed on our site. It is an amazing thing to journey. You learn so much about yourself and what gifts can be brought to bear in your physical life.
And if you ever get a chance to take some Shamanic journeying classes, I recommend it highly. We are after all here to enjoy the journey. Right? Why not learn how to actually do just that?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Our last class was prompted in part, I guess, by my constant emails to Steve asking him to interpret my dreams for me. The last one was a day or two prior to our class, so he asked if he could use my email of two dreams as an example. Heck yeah, I am all about that. So here is one of my dreams that I sent Steve:
I had this very REAL dream where I was shopping in an outdoor area and a psychic approached me desperately and told me I was very sick and needed to pay attention to my health--something about my heart--and handed me some papers. She hurried me off to this doctor in a white lab coat who walked me to a house that I guess was mine.
Once in, I looked at the papers she had given me. They said I would die when I was 73 of a broken heart and that I had lived 700 years over prior lives, yet that was a very short time. (I knew I wasn't supposed to have seen that part of the papers.)
So I don't know about you, but I thought this was an awful dream. A scary dream. A dream that could not have anything good come from it. Boy was I wrong...
The interpretation follows in the black:
I had this very REAL dream where I was shopping in an outdoor area (outdoor=freedom, no boundaries, nature) and a psychic approached me desperately and told me I was very sick and needed to pay attention to my health--something about my heart--(I am desperately trying to understand and know what's ahead for me. My heart is ready to "heal" and has been aching over changes I have been going through recently.) and handed me some papers. She hurried me off to this doctor in a white lab coat (A doctor represents healing. The white coat is about purity/spirit.) who walked me to a house that I guess was mine. (A house can represent where you live, your body. I didn't recognize this "new me, this home", but knew it was right for me.)
Once in, I looked at the papers she had given me. (Papers can represent fact or authority.) They said I would die (Death here means to be born anew in understanding and awareness.) when I was 73 (The numbers 7 and 3 both have meaning and then you add together to get a single digit, which is 1 and it has meaning, too. The 7 deals with the activation of imagination, and manifesting results in our lives through the use of conscious thought and awareness. 3 symbolizes the need to express myself creatively, or consider my present directional path in relation to my past events and future goals. And the 1 reflects new beginnings and purity.) of a broken heart (It is hard to move on, but the heart can be broken and come out new.) (So maybe I will be born anew when I finally let my creativity and desire for a new place in life lead me instead of the fear and uncertainty I have been letting take hold.) and that I had lived 700 years (The 7 again....) over prior lives, yet that was a very short time. (This change is happening quickly for me.) I knew I wasn't supposed to have seen that part of the papers. (I keep denying the changes and think somehow I shouldn't be changing or it is my fear of changing.)
I felt very scared/flustered when I woke up because it seemed so real. (The fear I felt upon waking was real, because I have been fearful of all the change in my life right now.)
Right on the money is all I can say. I am going through so many life changes with this class, my new business, my new home in North Carolina, my dad's death. So many changes. But Steve said the dream was a GREAT sign.
So how do you get to these interpretations for your own dreams? Easy. Break the dreams down into bits like I did. Everything in dreams can have real meaning and symbolic meaning. Does my dream mean I will die at age 73? Maybe. But it could also be a symbolic death as well.
So if you dream of your pet cat and you are trying to save it from a swimming pool. Consider what
that pets symbolizes to you. What's the first thing that comes to mind? For me, my cat is my baby. So cat=baby=the child in me. Take each element in your dream and find the meaning for you personally. After all it is your inner child that is communicating with you and that part always communicates in pictures/symbols. So a cat to one person might mean different things to another in their dreams.
Now when it comes to numbers and colors, go online and see some definitions. They usually are pretty much the same for everyone. Here is a good link for numbers. And here is one for colors.
(Just scroll down to get to the color chart.)
You can also get Steve's book, that is referenced on our book list, as it has this information in it, too.
So the rest of the class was all about dreams and interpreting them. We practiced with each other, learned a lot more and it was very, very cool. 'Cause I don't know about you, but I almost always remember my dreams and they are doozies! And now, I know how to make some sense out of them and it's opened a great communication pathway now between my waking self and my unconscious.
Now THAT is what I call a healing journey.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
We had another class with Steve and Marcia last Thursday night. As always, Steve never knows what he might teach until the moment it comes out of his mouth. Tonight it was all about channeling. Huh? Isn't that like the realm of psychics and gifted folks? I start to freak out. I start thinking how I can cheat. How can I get through it without anyone realizing I am a sham? A phony? A completely un-gifted human?
Steve starts by explaining. He says you can channel others by (with their permission of course) bringing in the while light in the top of your head and breathing it out through your navel. So you get that going and circulating and then, as you sit across from the other person, you start to channel that light out of your navel and into theirs. Then you allow yourself to go "into" their body and you start "seeing" through their eyes. You ask to feel what they feel and know what they know for purposes of healing. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SURE OF YOUR INTENT. This is pretty darned important. Use your gifts for good.
Then you just start speaking what you/they feel. What do you see? Feel? This is the lower/child self you are in touch with, so you probably get symbols and pictures.
Steve channeled a student in class first to demonstrate. His eyes are closed the whole time. He says, "I," a lot, as in he is her. He speaks of feet hurting, issues with children, a pain in the left shoulder. Then he expands way beyond...but he is so psychically gifted, I am not surprised. When he was done, he asked to heal anything that needed healing. (Since you are not actually the person, you can feel their dis-eases and pains without taking those dis-eases on and can therefore help heal them.)
The student said he was dead on. She had trouble with her feet, an old injury that was flaring up, and she did have issues that he nailed with her kids, etc.
Now it was our turn. YIKES. Now I am really sweating it. And I look over at Susanne, who looks as scared as me.
We pair up. I get a lady who is deeply intuitive. I can sense it. She is calm and nurturing. I ask her to go first please since I have not figured out yet how I can cheat on this thing.
I close my eyes and try to "open" up to her. "Let her in," I repeat over and over. I also try to not think of anything. To just "be."
WOW. She was right on. She saw me typing. She felt my nervousness. She knew I was having trouble communicating. All this and she had no idea I was a writer or that I was now starting my own business freelancing and was very nervous about getting work. I have been having a lot of trouble with my throat chakra--clearing my throat a lot, not getting words out, being very whisper-like in my voice....She got so much right. And she said I kept blocking her way. Yep. That's me. Not going to let you just roam around in there.....no all-access pass.
My turn. I apologize to her for getting the short straw with me. That I was a fraud. Sorry, sorry. I will do my best. I touch both her knees to try to get something. Anything. Then I start breathing and try to channel. But it is loud in the room. Everyone else is talking. Channeling. I get distracted. Shiny objects, so to speak, keep "calling" to me. Breathe darn it. FOCUS. I internally yell at myself. SEE SOMETHING, FEEL SOMETHING. PLEASE.
My hands. They feel heavy. So I tell her. Your hands are heavy. Maybe from carrying a heavy burden. And I feel an itch in the middle of my shoulders. It moved down to my right arm and hand. And eyes. Something about your eyes. Red. I see red. I see you sleeping happily. And green. The color green.
Now mind you, this is over about 5 minutes. It is PAINFULLY LONG.
Ok, I say. I'm done. I can't take it anymore. So....?
She said she has carpal tunnel and her hands always bother her! Plus she has an 11-month-old who she lifts a lot and he is heavy. (Holy cow) Plus, she needs more sleep and has been getting a bit more lately, so sleep does make her happy right now. The eye thing? Oh yes, my vision has been blurry and I don't know why, she says. Green? Oh, green is healing and I am trying to heal right now. WHAT THE?!?! Did I really do this? How? I was guessing. Just blabbering nonsense I thought. She also said she could feel me go into her, then out, back and forth as if I were trying to focus. And I was. I would get an image, then I would pull back and try to understand it. Plus, I kept getting distracted by my fellow students.
Is there a moral to this story? For me, it is again, to let go and believe. Trust instincts. Flow with it. It is all within us. All the time. Steve says the more we do this stuff the more we will open up and the more that will flow through us.
You're shaking your head, no....I can feel it. I know, it sounds ridiculous. But all I can say is that it happened. It did. I can't explain it, but I can keep pushing it. My journey is definitely moving in a direction. I am not standing still.
What about you? Is this helping you move? Trust yourself more? I hope so. Let's move together, shall we?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I want to say how much I am enjoying and getting out of 2 new books on our reading list. Urban Shaman and Imagineering for Health. These two books can really, really help you if you have health issues or even just want to get closer to the life you want and the things you want in this life.
I started out 3 years ago with a book called Ask and it is Given. The law of attraction was the basis for this. Whatever you give your attention to, you will draw to you. The kicker is, even things you don't want will come to you if you're not careful. You give enough attention to anything, and you'll get more of it. Say you really hate that you can't sleep. You ask daily and you hope daily for a good night's sleep. It's all you think about. I wish I could get a good night's sleep. I don't sleep good. Wow, I slept terribly last night, etc. What you have focused on is your LACK of sleep. Over and over. So you get no relief. TRUST ME, this is how it works. I did it to myself for about 3 years and still have issues because I keep focusing on the lack of sleep.
Well, Sergi King in his two books, further explains all this "you create your own reality" stuff. He does it in a way that truly makes it make sense. And then he gives you ways to work with it. And when it comes to your health, he explains why every sickness you get is based on emotions, beliefs and stress that have tensed up your body over time. Every sickness. Which means you can CHANGE sickness. You can heal yourself. He even gives some reasons why people get cancer, stomach porblems, chest colds, etc. Quite fascinating.
I recomend this reading. If you are following this blog, you MUST read these books. Ok? Click on links, right now, and buy them. Then let me know how they have changed your life. Because they will if you let them. I PROMISE.
The other day I was talking to a guy who I have never met about possibly doing some work for his ad agency. He and I had fallen into the typical jawing about people in the industry. He was trying to recall the name of a famous ad guy and so I started banging my hands together (described in prior post) to show him how it could help him remember things that were on the tip of the tongue.
He didn't even question it! He just followed my lead and did it. Before he even got to tap #10, the name came out. Boom. It was funny because at that point, I was hemming and hawing about why it works. Not wanting to get too "technical" for fear he'd think I was, you guessed it, that nut-case lady. I am learning to use my instincts on who I tell more info to on this stuff. If I can help move the ball so to speak without alienating those not as open as I, then I think it's ok to keep some "facts" hush.
(I HAVE to speak as all this is fact. I know I have no "true" proof. But we all have to work with what we have, right? You choose what you want to believe from this and go from there. It's all good.)
But I was blown away that this guy even did it. I would've thought most people would not "play" along.
Another great outcome of this blog and my new learnings is that my husband has quietly been listening to all I come home talking about. He hears my conversations with friends, reads the blog (altho' I never know when), etc. Lo and behold, he has soaked it all up and has used a lot of it almost without meaning to. It has just softly and by osmosis settled in to his daily life.
He has told me several instances where he has found himself putting ideas into practice and how well it has helped. Which is amazing to me, because I think he uses it more than I do!!
He LOVES the side of the hand tapping to get the right words out when they are "lost."
He grounds himself and breathes the white light into the top of his head when people at work or situations come up that would otherwise make him VERY angry or frustrated.
Even today, I saw him using his breathwork while on the phone with a client. It was GREAT.
He uses the technique of breathing in for 4 counts deeply while saying "relax, relax, relax, relax" then breathing out for 4 counts while saying, "release, release, release, release."
I have found that perhaps my role in life seems to be instigator. I learn all this, teach or compel others to implement it, but then do not necessarily apply it as much to my own life. I guess I can live with that. If it starts a chain reaction--a ripple in the pond--then I am happy. And then, in some way, it has also helped me. Being happy is one of my ultimate end goals. Isn't it for everyone?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Softly bang fleshy outer part of hands from base of pinky fingers to where wrist meets hand 15X, then tap gently under your NOSE above your upper lip 15X to help you get your channels back in line.
Of course, if you now do not trust me, do the other exercise of marching. It WAS right. Guess I needed to before I posted!
I can't even begin to explain it to you, but suffice it to say, it is a mathematical/energetic formula for healing genetic health issues. Basically we all come into our bodies with genetic predispositions for certain diseases or health issues and whether or not they manifest depends on if we allow certain emotions like anger, bitterness, etc. to take hold and weaken the barrier keeping the disease at bay. And I do believe that all disease comes from unresolved emotion/trauma, so this idea he has sits ok with me.
Anyway, why I post is because he offers his services FREE for any child with Autism. Now, how could you NOT try this if it is free?
It sounds completely BIZARRE when you hear how it works, but I have a gut feeling about this guy. And you know how I feel about trusting my gut.
I encourage you to check out the podcast and if you know anyone who has children with Austism, please send them to his site. And then please do let me know any feedback. Or if you have had any experience with AIM.
Here is a direct link to the podcast and to his site.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
We had our first group class. Susanne was out of town on business and could not attend. But I was there and maybe a bit apprehensive. I mean, I didn't know what to expect or WHO to expect. Of course, who doesn't think they are normal and that everyone else must be freaky, right? Well not the case. A nice small group of interesting, genuine, sweet-spirited people showed up. Many of whom had taken Steve's earlier beginner class. I was a newbie along with one other gal, Lisa. Although she seemed pretty knowledgeable about what was going on and was obviously friends with Steve.
Steve's wife Marcia participated and I was so glad to finally get a chance to know her. She is equally as talented, intuitive and healing as Steve.
Steve had no class outline in his head and so he said he'd let "fate" take us where we needed to go. And it led us into Polarity Channels/feminine-masculine energy channels of the body. What the?!?! Yep. I know. Actually fairly scientific. We all know we're made of energy, right? That's like science 101. So we have positive and negative electro magnetic energy in our bodies like a battery. You have the + side and the - side electrically speaking. So what does that have to do with health and bodily function?
Your right side is you masculine side or positively charged side. (And I don't mean positive/negative as good/evil.) Your left side is your feminine or negatively charged side. I won't go into the entire deal here, but suffice it to say, have you ever had those days or moments when you feel what I call "wonky?" Off balance? Words don't come out right, you feel a bit dyslexic? Well, perhaps the two poles aren't connecting right. And if they aren't, then your health suffers. Your functioning suffers. The longer and more off the body's polarity channels are, the less healthy you might be.
Within your body, you also have 2 energy "crosses" that I guess help connect both sides of you. One is down in your pubic bone area and one is across your solar plexus area. If these crosses are "blocked," then you can get "Switched." YIPES. Emotions, traumas, life's stuff can switch you, block you, mess you up. You can get what Steve calls "chronically switched." Like being short circuited.
How can you fix yourself? Well, deal with your "issues" for one. But also, every day for a few weeks, Steve suggests we do a few exercises to switch us back into healthy states.
Here's one. And I have to say, I get those wonky moments a lot. I had one just this very morning. I often get them when I talk to my mom who tends to send me off down the road of insanity. So I have started these exercises. They work. Yes, they really, really do.
Try it: Take both your hands and bang the fleshy outer part that runs from your pinky finger down to where your hand meets your wrists together 15 times. Then, take 2 fingers and tap 15 times under your nose just above your top lip. Just do it and quit being weird. Don't you feel better? Clearer headed? Those are like acupressure points I suppose that help unswitch you.
You can also make sure that when you walk you swing your arms as you move. Opposite arm with opposite leg. It's like it balances the brain because left and right are going together.
Try also standing up and march in place with legs lifted high as you swing the opposite arms. Make big movements here to get those channels back on track.
You are now good to go as polarity channels are concerned--for now. Whenever you feel upset or off, unswitch yourself. How easy was that?
If anyone is reading, I'd like to know how it worked for you. Please do leave a comment!
(Please know that I am NOT a practioner, just a gal blogging away about my own experiences. Trying to help me first and foremost, and hopefully anyone else reading.)
Thursday, February 7, 2008
That said, I just happened across the newest sleep technology. A Sleeping Suit that mimics your skin and helps you sleep. Travel Lodge in UK is testing it out for their guests. Now how weird is THAT??
Here's the story.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Susanne and I had our auras photographed by a local woman in NC who has this special equipment. It was really cool and we did it mainly to see if our auras were the color we had been "seeing" and if, down the road, all this work and breathing and healing would ultimately change our auras. So here is mine. Orange/yellow, just like Steve and Susanne saw!
How it works is you place your hand on a special box that reads your biofeedback basically. Or your electromagnetic field. This, through research, has been shown to be representative of your whole aura/field. She then uses a special camera that captures the colors. There is science behind this type of equipment, but I know many of you are thinking it's a bunch of hooey. All fine with me. I had Steve and Susanne both "read" my aura, however, and the camera captured those colors.
You can check it out at this link.
So my aura is mainly orange. According to the report that came with this photo, I am artistic, creative and have a lot of excitement in my "field." Amazingly enough, I am in advertising as a creative writer and I am starting my own business, so there's lots of excitement there!
The report was quite detailed, about 20 pages, and seemed to really fit who I am and where I am right now. It also shows your chakras and how open or balanced they are. Of course, the doubting side would say that this is like astrology. General enough comments that you can find something that matches your personality. But if you've read earlier posts, I am embracing the idea of believing versus doubting. So you can decide for yourself.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I have been turned on to a new site that I want to share. Also a podcast on Hawaiian Shamanism. The presenter was a teacher of Steve's I believe. Serge King, author of Urban Shaman. Enjoy and allow yourself to be open and feel and trust. See how much of it resonates with you. Quite fascinating if you ask me!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I think many people will relate to my experience of what started me down this path in the first place. I had moved to Cincinnati in 2003 for a job. I was turning 40. My life had been a mix of worrywart-ism (from my mom) and stress from working in the high-pressure field of Advertising. Add onto that coming from an alcoholic family with virtually no love, 2 divorces (if you never learn love, how do you make a marriage work?) and a current wonderful marriage but a hag of an ex wife to deal with who was sucking us dry financially and emotionally. WHEW! So I started to shut down. Get sick. First I thought it was a heart issue. Pounding at night so I couldn't sleep. Like I had been drinking coffee non-stop or something. Being a physician's daughter and exwife of a physician, I believed in PHYSICAL only. So I went to the doc. Nope. Heart is fine. Then I started losing weight--a pound a day. My hair was falling out. I felt awful. I was sleeping about 2 hours a night maybe. One day at work, my entire left side felt like it was numb and useless. It was the weirdest, scariest feeling. I could move, but with effort. I was rushed to the doctor who said it was stroke or Multiple Sclerosis. Now mind you, for years leading to this, I had had some weird health events and no one could figure it out. MS had come up before, so I was very nervous. I had an MRI. Nothing. Must be my thyroid. I had blood tests, nothing. Found a doc who did a thyroid scan. Nothing. Maybe an adrenal gland tumor. CAT scan. Nothing. Maybe it was the start of "the change." Peri menopause. Nope. Weird rashes for no reason....ARRGGHHH. Am I nuts?
Regular docs quit seeing me. They couldn't help. I must be nuts.
Meanwhile my husband and I were frantic. How could I keep losing weight and live? I am 5'8" and was at 116 pounds. Finally I found an alternative care doc. I did acupuncture and Chinese herbs with an oncologist who was Chinese and an incredible doc. It started to help. The alternative side started to help. They said I wasn't nuts. I was STRESSED out from 40 years of baggage and worry and no spiritual outlet or beliefs. (I went to the Alliance Institute for Integrative Medicine in Cinci. They were awesome!)
Then I was drawn to Vince Lasorso and White Willow Tai Chi. This is probably the single BEST thing I did. I found Vince and tai chi. Not only was tai chi amazing for me and still is, but Vince is special. And I mean it. He has healing abilities like no one I have ever met. And he was my lifesaver, along with my patient and loving husband, Martin. Vince "knows" things. He can touch your body and release not only tension but the emotions and memories associated with it. If you are in Cinci, you should take his classes and read his book on our Suggested Reading list: IMMORTAL'S GIFT: A PARABLE FOR THE SOUL.
Tai chi is a way to calm yourself. Bring peace and healing naturally. Reduce stress. Ground yourself. Create a mind, body, spirit connection. If one or more is lacking or in excess, you are out of balance. And my spirit was essentially gone.
I know this is a long post, but I write it to say to you, if you are "sick" and do not know why. If you feel "wrong" and fatigued and without reason, energy or purpose, sure, go to regular docs if you feel the need. But consider alternative healing methods. I absolutely say do Tai Chi. Try acupuncture. (Ok, it hurts a little if your energy is really blocked up. But it works.) Branch out people. It's ok. You're not alone and you're not a whack job. It's your inner spirit/voice/knowing whatever you want to call it SCREAMING at you. Pay attention. Heal yourself. Live the life you are here to live. Your health is one of the last things that "tells" you something inside is wrong. I believe all diseases come from inner dis-ease. I do. Your years of ignoring what you "know" just manifests as a health thing.
Am I healed and happier than a pig in slop? Heck no. This is my work here. But it pays back in incredible ways.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Susanne and I had our second "installment" in our catch-up class with Steve. This class was, for me, a lesson in trust. To trust what you know. And I mean "know." We all have heard or felt that little voice or tugging in our gut, right? Well, that's something to pay attention to and to be open to more and more. I tend to be more doubting of my intuitive gifts and I hate to be wrong, which together can lead me to be less than open or believing in my true, natural abilities to know answers on the spirit/inner voice level.
We learned how to read auras, among other things in this class, but because I know Steve can read auras (or the energy field around the body that often shows up as colors: see this link for more on auras.) I would second guess myself and not believe I had the "answer" when asked, "What color is Susanne's aura?"
I let my conscious mind get in the way, stumbling through with sweaty palms. It's not that I'm not open, because I am. It's my feet that are so firmly planted in this "reality" that tend to get me. While Susanne is not so quick to judge herself and blurts out the colors she "sees." Which also makes me less able to give up my answers. Ahhhh. My lessons are many, I am seeing.
But what I have taken away from this class is to truly BELIEVE what I sense or see or hear from my inner guide. Why not? Who cares if Steve sees red in an aura and I sense green? I have to start somewhere and the less closed off I am or worried about getting it "right," the better I will tap into what is and always has been, mine. (And what you have is YOURS.)
Here's a quick story that happened right after I had this class.
I went to pick up laundry and a sandwich place was right next door. Something in me said, go in and get something for lunch. But me, trying to save the money and not listening to my inner knowing, literally pulled myself away and forced my body into my car. Home I went to prepare a sandwich. You guessed it. No bread, no lunch meat, nothing to eat. My husband had cleared the cabinets! If only I had listened to myself.
And I know this seems trivial. But I think your inner guide works no matter the perceived importance of the issue. It knew (ok, I knew) and I chose to not listen. It happens all the time to all of us. My plea to you, is to LISTEN. It's your God-given right and your God-given gift. Don't ignore what you "know," just because it comes as a little voice in your head or a feeling in your stomach. Follow it. Why not at least try it? I am. And if I can suspend disbelief in myself and abilities, so can you.
Because something inside me says so.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
"You feel a calling within, this is the voice of spirit urging you forward to new levels of self expression and sharing with others. Listen to the calling in your heart, which will lead you towards not only your own personal healing, but towards those new directions that can contribute positively to a new world. There are now multiple avenues of expression available to you, both by joining your consciousness with others to effect change, and also by offering inspired action towards a worthy cause. Go forth now and share with the world your beautiful and unique vision. Your positive thoughts, intentions and actions will bless others and bring great benefit to the world."
WOW. How is THAT for timing? I think it's cool how things come to you when you need them to. Start looking for these "coincidences," in your life. It's amazing when you see the puzzle coming together and you see how you have manifested things in your life. Susanne and I have started this blog as a way to, just for us, chart our progress, but also as a way to perhaps help others. And so Mashubi's post was "sent" to me with the perfection only the universe can offer up.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I found myself talking in a roundabout way to a fellow employee about one of his office tribulations today...trying to "talk" him through some stress by offering breathwork and grounding in a way that might not make me seem too "nuts." I find I am careful who I discuss any of this with because I fear the "look." The "she's a nut job" look. I suppose as I get more comfortable and confident in this alternative view of health, spirit and mind, I will not care what anyone thinks. But for now, I almost feel the need to apologize or frame things in what I consider a less threatening way for those who haven't embraced these ideas.
I offered him the scientific reason behind taking good, full breaths. He seemed ok with that. Then I treaded on thinner ice and suggested when he felt stressed out to think about his feet. "Why," he asked. "Because it brings all that swirling, um, frantic kind of, you know, energy, down and um, balances you a bit better. You know, grounds you," I said slightly mortified. "Right," he said backing away. "I know it sounds weird, but just try it...for me," I laughed it off.
I got his call a few hours later. "Wow, I thought about my feet and I think I felt better."
Wow. Now I feel better. Stronger and more confident. I helped someone. And I helped me at the same time. I think something is working here--all this woo-woo stuff as one friend likes to say--and I like it.
One of the first things Steve taught us was something simple and extraordinary at the same time. It's called grounding. He describes it in detail in the book. As you breathe in and out, you envision a long cord anchoring your body to the core of the earth. In subsequent breaths, you imagine releasing any negative thoughts or energy down that cord into the earth. With just a little practice, it can be done in a single breath. Grounding immediately brings calm and focus.
Being a type-A, adrenaline-junkie, always-gotta-have-her-Starbucks kind of girl, grounding is a beautiful thing. Really, beautiful.
With just a breath, the anxiousness, the pains in my shoulder blades, the nervous twitching of my left foot come to a peaceful stop. If I am surrounded by others who are really negative or angry or upset, I can ground and feel safe and comforted in knowing I don't have to take on their "stuff." It's a beautiful thing.
Grounding gives me the confidence to enter any situation knowing I can CHOOSE to be calm and strong. Grounding is a choice.
We always get to choose how we react in any given situation, no matter how trying. Victor Frankl's memoir, Man's Search for Meaning, is the most famous exploration of the power of this choice. The key is remembering to choose even in everyday situations - particularly in everyday situations.
Now, I still love my lattes, but I choose to enjoy them with both feet on the ground.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I am very open to this, even though a year ago, I'd have said you're nuts if you even mentioned I'd be doing any Shamanic anything. But I suppose life directs us to these things and so I am here. Susanne and I came together as a universal fate and her ties to Steve and Marcia got us started.
So our first class is simply the two of us. We're catching up since we missed the beginner's classes. Steve starts us off with learning to trust our intuition and inner knowledge. I am somewhat skeptical that I have any of either of those things. But I am game. He starts by showing us how to breathe. Yes. You need to breathe and while it seems a no-brainer, I soon realize I have not been doing it very well at all. Your breath is your life and sitting up straight, taking in breaths from your abdomen and filling in upward all the way into your shoulders is how it works. Then releasing the breath in the exact opposite way from top down. I already feel better. More relaxed. We do this quite a few times and I am in what Steve calls a "trance" state. Really? Hmm. We each are given a photo of someone that we do not look at. We hold it and ask for insight and information about the person. Steve has given us a sheet that tells us a few things to ask, like "what feeling do you get about this person?" "What color comes to mind for this person." Things like that. I, again, go along and amazingly enough, images pop into my head. I write them down, not knowing where this is headed. At the end, we tell Steve what we have "seen." And he reveals the person in the photo. I had Steve's son. And he proceeds to explain how many of the things I felt about him were right on. Up to an image of a boy with blondish/brown hair on some type of a surfboard. (Steve's son snowboards!) So this is where we start. Trusting that we each have knowledge and knowing inside if we allow it show up. If we allow ourselves to listen. Sitting quietly is key. Believing is key. Here I go. My life will never be the same.
Yet for overcoming the hard or unyielding - like the stone in a mountain - nothing is more powerful. Water can carve out rock and flow beyond any obstacle.
Today two women embark on a healing journey to nurture ourselves - and those around us who are drawn to the same path. We do not know where the path is taking us - only that it is taking us, compelling us, to move forward and to tell our two stories.
And so with some deep breaths, we move ahead, we flow like water...