Tuesday, January 22, 2008

How I got here. I got sick.


I think many people will relate to my experience of what started me down this path in the first place. I had moved to Cincinnati in 2003 for a job. I was turning 40. My life had been a mix of worrywart-ism (from my mom) and stress from working in the high-pressure field of Advertising. Add onto that coming from an alcoholic family with virtually no love, 2 divorces (if you never learn love, how do you make a marriage work?) and a current wonderful marriage but a hag of an ex wife to deal with who was sucking us dry financially and emotionally. WHEW! So I started to shut down. Get sick. First I thought it was a heart issue. Pounding at night so I couldn't sleep. Like I had been drinking coffee non-stop or something. Being a physician's daughter and exwife of a physician, I believed in PHYSICAL only. So I went to the doc. Nope. Heart is fine. Then I started losing weight--a pound a day. My hair was falling out. I felt awful. I was sleeping about 2 hours a night maybe. One day at work, my entire left side felt like it was numb and useless. It was the weirdest, scariest feeling. I could move, but with effort. I was rushed to the doctor who said it was stroke or Multiple Sclerosis. Now mind you, for years leading to this, I had had some weird health events and no one could figure it out. MS had come up before, so I was very nervous. I had an MRI. Nothing. Must be my thyroid. I had blood tests, nothing. Found a doc who did a thyroid scan. Nothing. Maybe an adrenal gland tumor. CAT scan. Nothing. Maybe it was the start of "the change." Peri menopause. Nope. Weird rashes for no reason....ARRGGHHH. Am I nuts?
Regular docs quit seeing me. They couldn't help. I must be nuts.

Meanwhile my husband and I were frantic. How could I keep losing weight and live? I am 5'8" and was at 116 pounds. Finally I found an alternative care doc. I did acupuncture and Chinese herbs with an oncologist who was Chinese and an incredible doc. It started to help. The alternative side started to help. They said I wasn't nuts. I was STRESSED out from 40 years of baggage and worry and no spiritual outlet or beliefs. (I went to the Alliance Institute for Integrative Medicine in Cinci. They were awesome!)

Then I was drawn to Vince Lasorso and White Willow Tai Chi. This is probably the single BEST thing I did. I found Vince and tai chi. Not only was tai chi amazing for me and still is, but Vince is special. And I mean it. He has healing abilities like no one I have ever met. And he was my lifesaver, along with my patient and loving husband, Martin. Vince "knows" things. He can touch your body and release not only tension but the emotions and memories associated with it. If you are in Cinci, you should take his classes and read his book on our Suggested Reading list: IMMORTAL'S GIFT: A PARABLE FOR THE SOUL.

Tai chi is a way to calm yourself. Bring peace and healing naturally. Reduce stress. Ground yourself. Create a mind, body, spirit connection. If one or more is lacking or in excess, you are out of balance. And my spirit was essentially gone.

I know this is a long post, but I write it to say to you, if you are "sick" and do not know why. If you feel "wrong" and fatigued and without reason, energy or purpose, sure, go to regular docs if you feel the need. But consider alternative healing methods. I absolutely say do Tai Chi. Try acupuncture. (Ok, it hurts a little if your energy is really blocked up. But it works.) Branch out people. It's ok. You're not alone and you're not a whack job. It's your inner spirit/voice/knowing whatever you want to call it SCREAMING at you. Pay attention. Heal yourself. Live the life you are here to live. Your health is one of the last things that "tells" you something inside is wrong. I believe all diseases come from inner dis-ease. I do. Your years of ignoring what you "know" just manifests as a health thing.

Am I healed and happier than a pig in slop? Heck no. This is my work here. But it pays back in incredible ways.

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